the edge | finding a ledge & hovering over

I have a problem with limits. I always have. I don’t understand why someone would ever tell me I can’t do something, or that it would possibly be “going too far.” What do you mean? If it feels good do it…no?
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Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to climb the biggest tree, stand on the edge of a cliff and look down, especially when someone told me not to. I enjoyed pushing every boundary I possibly could.
This often resulted in phone calls to my parents from teachers, warnings that I would be kicked off sports teams if I didn’t smarten up, and a reputation for being loud and oddly courageous through all of my endeavors.
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I remember one day when Hilary Duff was in town filming Cheapen by the dozen II. My friend and I got wind of this, hopped in my 1990 mazda 3 and whipped over to Rockwood Lake where they were filming. Awe-struck by this fellow sixteen year old beauty, I had a plan to meet her and convince her to take me back to Hollywood. Somewhere in my sixteen year old mind I thought this was realistic. I was swiftly met by security guards who forcefully guided me to turn my car around and head for home. Even in my failure, I managed to snag one of the pylons marked ‘film’ as a souvenir of attempted fame, and it lived in my bedroom throughout the rest of my high school years.
Yes, I have always been one to push the limits.
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This has seen me through some of my most adventurous, memorable moments, and also some of my most painful life-lessons.
I’ve found that pushing the limits into restricted areas is a fine art; a skill I’m trying to master. There are some things that are worth pushing for; like standing on the edge to capture a beautiful image, and there are limits never meant to be touched; like an over-share in a conversation you weren’t meant to open your mouth in. It’s important to drive yourself out of your comfort zone, but it’s also important to learn how to navigate pushing the limits of your personal life, one which I haven’t always been so good at.
Life is a balancing act, and we’re all just trying to keep our ground as we learn.
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 The important thing I’m learning is to go where brings you life, maximizing the moments you want to carry with you forever. If that means skipping class to drive 30 minutes to the local lake to convince a celebrity to take you with them, then do it. But it may not mean voicing your every opinion in science class, which results in uncomfortable calls home to your parents.
Push the limits and be comfortable with the edge. Know your footing, go a little further, and then stay as close to the edge as you possibly can without falling over. It’s a feeling worth fighting for.
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Being in your twenties is all about finding out how far is too far. Stepping out a little beyond the edge; wobbling, maybe even falling over, and finding your way back to your balance.
I love the edge. I love the adrenaline. I will always push the limits, and as I grow older I’m learning which edges to push the envelope on, and which lines to be satisfied with. Every step is a journey, every edge is exciting. I love the feeling of standing hovering over, and knowing that I am completely in control of every move I make.
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 So as I make mistakes, then get up and laugh about them, find me on a ledge, constantly reminding myself to live out of my comfort zone and into exhilaration. Will you join me?



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