“Whoever made these tracks was just like me…”
Stef assured herself as we blazed through two feet of deep snow, following as best we could in the tracks of whoever had ventured down the logging road before us. Even the slightest slide off the tracks caused us to drift into the unmarked snow, unsure of what could be underneath; rocks, a river, or worse a cliff.
I love the adrenaline of not knowing what’s underneath my feet. As I venture through the snow making my way out onto a log in the middle of the Lillooet River, I stomp down twice to assure I’m actually stepping on something. The mystery of each step symbolizes the realm of possibility; that indeed whatever comes next is an adventure.
For those of you who know me- like really know me, know that this year has been tough. The idea of failure has been living over me like a storm cloud and I’ve been doing the very best I can to see the light shining through. This year, the one thing no one enters into hoping to fail, I lost my footing with. Stepping out onto snow-covered rocks and logs, unsure of what each step will find brings me peace; in it I’m sure that the present unknown moment is the very best place to be.
Somehow what seems to be a failure can bring a fresh start- a second chance. Crunching snow and new tracks helps me believe that. I am now creating the future for me, and I can have anything I want from this magical life. The harsh reality of starting over can be cold and overwhelming for as long as you let it, but when you put yourself in the way of inspiration, challenge and beauty, you gain strength to see things differently.
We drove down the whimsical road in Stef’s brand new Jeep Wrangler, it’s very first time on a somewhat off-road adventure, and we had our eyes set on the Hot Springs. We would make it, no matter what. Warnings about off-limit areas and deep snow conditions wouldn’t hold us back – we were winter wanders. So when the tracks that had been guiding us for 36 deep snowy kilometers came to an abrupt stop, so did our plans to soak our bodies in the natural hot springs that sat so elegantly 6km ahead.
Losing daylight and no time to hike the remaining 16km round trip, Stef’s jeep slowly began to sink into the deep snow, with no ground to get a firm grip on. After what felt like an 18 point turn, we were headed back down the way we came from. For a hot moment we were sad to have missed out on what we came for, but then a new feeling flooded over.
Just because one thing didn’t go as planned, doesn’t mean all is lost.
I have to constantly remind myself of this… every single day. Life is always changing, and people change faster. Having the fluidity to be open and excited to make new steps could possibly be the meaning of finding yourself. When the jeep couldn’t make fresh tracks anymore with it’s wheels, making them with my own two feet, beer and friends in hand came in at a close second.
I have not failed. We didn’t fail. We found something new, something great, something different.
Our second chances can be filled with epic firsts, we just have to discover them for ourselves. So when we have to turn around or start over, let’s make it incredible, let’s explore it’s exhilarating newness. Let’s leap across logs into rivers, stand on top of vehicles like hooligans and bask in the overwhelming magic that nature gives us.
*quoted from Wild*